Reading through my planner from last year, I came across a note after a particularly horrible piano performance. I still remember the moment today, which I can only describe as a moment of Absurdity.
I restarted my piece twice and moved the piano because the dark shadow cast by the spotlight on the keys meant that I couldn’t see them properly. I messed up the first movement badly, but the second movement went slightly better.
My sudden loss of piano-playing ability was down to a fleeting moment, a feeling: I suddenly realised that I was playing a piece of plastic and metal for the sake of 20 people in a badly lit room.
I was a warrior till the end, no matter how much I bludgeoned and mangled the piece. I came off and cried.